Some of you may have heard that we had to spend a few extra days in the hospital. Don't be alarmed, the explanation is simple: our baby was abducted. That's right, at around 2:00am on the Sept 27th, a really short nurse with curiously almond-shaped eyes glided into our room and took Scarlett away for some "tests." She was fitted with a bio-electric interface, effectively converting our daughter into a battery with which to power the mothership.
No, no. What actually happened is that Scarlett became jaundiced and her serum bilirubin level was elevated. This means that her little liver was unable to effectively conjugate the breakdown products of hemoglobin. Liver failure? That sounds bad. The explanation is simple: Sarah went a little crazy with the Maddog 20/20 during 2nd trimester.
No, no. Physiologic neonatal jaundice is a common phenomenon, especially in early babies like Scarlett whose organs aren't fully "on-line" yet. In the photograph, Scarlett is wearing a "bili-blanket." This device provides a particular wavelength of ultraviolet radiation that converts bilirubin into a soluble form that can be excreted by the kidneys.
So, no, you can't use our cyborg baby to charge your cell phone.
1 comment:
A wise critic once argued, why would Megatron transform into a gun for StarScream to fire? Thats like Darth Vader transforming into his own light saber so The Emperor could swing him around.
It appears Scarlett has perfected the technology morph and can actually transform in her own lightsaber for Mommy to wield against the inevitable alien invasion.
Remember, everything has a paranormal explanation until proven otherwise.
The force is strong with this one.
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