Tubby Time!

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but having gratuitous tub shots (blackmail vs future teenage daughter) is nothing short of nirvana.

Rectal Thermometer

In this video, Scarlet learns about her parents' hidden plans to put a thermometer in her butt. Let's see her reaction!

Scarlett in action!

At last, her big debut on the silverscreen...

I couldn't help adding another video of the silent genre. Here Scarlett shows off her mastery of such Chaplin-esque techniques as "hand munching" and the "big sneeze." Riveting.

I'm Almost Two Weeks Old

That's correct, 2 weeks down and I've already achieved some impressive developmental milestones:
1. I can distinguish at 10 inches what most people can see at 200 feet (not bad, eh?)
2. I can successfully void the entire volume of my bladder during the 5 millisecond interval between removing my old diaper and placing a new one beneath me
3. I can awake Daddy from deep sleep my kicking him in the Adam's apple
4. I can almost fit both fists inside my mouth (see photo)
5. I can drain a boob in 10 minutes flat!
6. I create more laundry in one day than two adults do in a week

My first spoon!

Thank you, Great Uncle Bob! We took Scarlett raspberry-picking in New Salem, MA and then went to visit our friends, Bob and Paul. Bob, silversmith extraordinaire, fashioned a beautiful gift for the Bean. The handle features a bear and childrens' blocks that spell her initials :"S-J-S".

Signs

As you can see in this photograph, Scarlett has some characteristic red markings over her right eyebrow, forehead and beneath her nose. The pediatrician tells us these are nevus flammeus neonatorum, better known as "stork bites." It was once thought that these pigmentations were caused by transient capillary malformations in the skin, but scientists now believe that most babies with this condition have actually been attacked by maritime waterfowl. My own theory is that these marks indicate her intrauterine ascension to the rarified ranks of the Shaolin warriors. Each spot represents mastery of a particular form.
Right eyebrow: Fist of death
Central forehead: levitation
Nasolabial region: 'The Billyjack'

Foot fetish?

As many of you know, Sarah is quite the connoisseur of footwear. And so it is no accident she has a keen interest in the little appendages upon which she will be donning many little sandals, booties and (dare I say) Manolo Blahniks.

Home at last!

On Sunday, Sept 30th we finally made it home to Easthampton. It's a great relief. In this photo Sarah and the Scarlett are hanging out in the living room while Zeek tries to cope with the stresses of childrearing.

Call Scully and Mulder

Some of you may have heard that we had to spend a few extra days in the hospital. Don't be alarmed, the explanation is simple: our baby was abducted. That's right, at around 2:00am on the Sept 27th, a really short nurse with curiously almond-shaped eyes glided into our room and took Scarlett away for some "tests." She was fitted with a bio-electric interface, effectively converting our daughter into a battery with which to power the mothership.

No, no. What actually happened is that Scarlett became jaundiced and her serum bilirubin level was elevated. This means that her little liver was unable to effectively conjugate the breakdown products of hemoglobin. Liver failure? That sounds bad. The explanation is simple: Sarah went a little crazy with the Maddog 20/20 during 2nd trimester.

No, no. Physiologic neonatal jaundice is a common phenomenon, especially in early babies like Scarlett whose organs aren't fully "on-line" yet. In the photograph, Scarlett is wearing a "bili-blanket." This device provides a particular wavelength of ultraviolet radiation that converts bilirubin into a soluble form that can be excreted by the kidneys.

So, no, you can't use our cyborg baby to charge your cell phone.